12 REALLY did it have to be this hard?

Most of you have seen on my Facebook that I am having a hard time with Bryn being 12. What is really funny is that he is 13 in 2 months so he has saved all his bad 12ness for the last few months of 12. How does a boy normally nice, obedient, cooperative, hard working and generally cheerful become something else over night? How does a straight As honor student get a D in PE (did I mention he is sort of a nerdy jock) and 2 Fs in classes he loves?

I am reminded that I was 12, and it was not fun for my parents (mostly my mom) to deal with me. Apparently it was bad enough that I upset myself so much I have chosen not to remember most of it. I can remember easy things like friends names: Tara LaRue, Tara Darst, Tara Dale, Tara Uptane. Yes I know Dugh of course I can remember friends when we all had the same name. I can tell you my math teacher Mr Abrams looked at my chest all through class. I can tell you Mrs Ekis could not sit still and swayed back and forth all through class. Mr Feldevard our band teacher had green armpit stains and turned bright red when he yelled at the "Dummers". And, The kid named Steven King read Steven king books. But that is it. I hear tell I was an emotional reck: crying in class, asking for my mom, yelling a lot and getting great grades and then turning them all into Ds and Fs (this part sounds a little familiar) I was even asked to talk to a therapist to make sure something "BAD" had not happened to me. Nope I was just 12.

I guess that means there is hope for Bryn I just hope he pulls it together before winter break so he does not lose the honors classes he tells me he loves.

Spiders! Really?

I love Spiders!

If I could sit and take pictures of spiders all day I would. They are just so amazingly unique. And their webs are so beautiful in the damp climate here, they almost always have moisture droplets on them.

My favorite is the Orb Waver, it has this huge bulbous smooth round body that some how is held up by 8 supper thin legs, plus they have the best webs hands down. Add to it that spiders eat the bugs that I am allergic to, whats not to love. Don't get me wrong I am sure that if there was a HUGE hairy tarantula hissing at me I might not like it so much but who knows maybe I will still try and get the picture, because it would look really cool.

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It has been 4 months since I blogged. Not sure why but figured it was time to get started back up. Watch form more updates later this week, month, year.

Hi my name is Tara Bills and I am an addict!

earlier this month my camera was stolen. (Don't worry I had already downloaded most of the pictures off the memory card.) Little did I know I would feel camera withdrawal. I tried using a disposable camera over Memorial Day weekend so I could document our adventures... It was Horrible! I do not have the money to go and buy a new camera any where near as good as my last, or at least that is what I thought. Today at Fred Meyer's i just decided to look at what was there. I found a little pocket camera by Samsung available in black, silver or pink. It was on sale and I had to look at the price several times. I spent 30 minutes checking it out pushing every button. The final decider was the associate telling me I could bring it back any time in the next 30 days if I decided it would not work. I LOVE MY NEW CAMERA!!!!! It is not as easy to adjust settings on as my last camera but the pictures are great. Ryana and I have been trying it out today and we both were able to take great pictures.

Wanted to share this with you guys.

http://danielleweathersphoto.squarespace.com/ if you are looking for a great photographer in the greater Seattle Area.

Worst mom in the world!

Bryn has been home from school for 3 weeks do to a irritation in his lungs. He just got permission last Wednesday to go back to school as long as he took it easy and did not do PE or go crazy at recess. His first day back to school was a field trip to his favorite museum "The Museum of Flight." Okay first day not mellow at all. Friday was just a normal day at school. Saturday I had a brilliant idea, Lets go to the local beach at low tide and look for a few sea stars, an urchin, maybe an anemone or 2: you know nice quiet sunny afternoon as a family. NOT! It was a gorgeous day and we got there an hour before the tide was its lowest, what better to do then enjoy the beach until the tide goes out. We spent 2 and a half hours at the beach. Well it turns out that was the worst choice to make. We missed church today because Bryn is back to coughing all day long. Right now Bryn is trying to go to sleep and can't do to his cough.
I have made lots of choices as a parent that I am not proud of, but I fell the worst over this.

I CanDo Can you Do?

I had this brilliant idea to sign the family (yes all 5 of us) for a 5K. It was an event held to raise awareness and funds for Northshore Special Families, a group of volunteers ( our family i on the list) made mostly of families with special needs kids. I figured NSF (I know bad initials) did so much for our family we should do hat we could for them. We go walking all the time, Ryana and Kenyon never stop moving even when asleep so a 5K should be nothing.

We were ready: Bryn is 12 so we figured he would go at his own pace most likely way ahead of the rest of us, I would run with Kenyon, and Randall would walk fast with Ryana. Some how that is not how it went. It all went wrong when 3 things happened: first it had snowed early that morning so it was VERY cold, second we forgot (we blame Randall) Ryana's coat at home, and third (which is my fault) we got there too early.

Fast forward to start of race, Ryana is crying because wearing her Sprio (think 2 piece wet suit like full body outfit) shorts, and 3 shirts was not warm enough (she wore my coat most of the time as well.) Bryn was already way ahead of us, her ran along with Michelle and Rachel Shaw mine and Ryana's good friends. Kenyon is on Randall's shoulders because he was ready to go 30 minutes earlier and was done waiting. So, lucky us Amy Young one of the moms from NSF offered the second seat in the jogging stroller to Ryana, she was in the stroller sitting very close to a kid she did not know (NOT in Ryana's nature at all) before I had time to ask her if she wanted to. And yes, Kenyon did the whole race on Randall's shoulders. At about halfway Kenyon decided he was ready to run, so Randall put him down on the ground, one small problem, Kenyons legs were asleep. He collapsed and decided he did not want to wait for them to wake up. Bryn finished the 5k in 45 minutes, and the rest of us came on at one hour. We did get Ryana and to walk across the finish line so I could have a good scrapbook photo.

Yes we are going to try again next year. I know. I have issues.

Sugar bugs are no fun.

My poor little guy had two cavities. We have been doing the 6 month dentist visits since he was 2. And at the last visit Dr Rama found 2 cavities one small and one pretty big. Of course when you schedule the return Appointment it is 3 months out. So here er are in March and Kenyon is scheduled for getting one of the fillings done. (Did I mention it is a Wednesday so Randall is in meetings all day so I have Ryana with me as well.) Everything is going pretty smoothly we have grape flavored happy gas, and Dora on the TV above the chair. Then the drilling begins. I have to hold him down, that is not one of my favorite things to do.

I Love Dr Rama it was over in record speed. Kenyon recovered very fast. As soon as his drool bib was off he was "give my my token lets go." on the way out Rama talked to me about the other tooth and mentioned the cavity was a bigger one and she felt it would be better if we did a crown. Then she said " We have time at 2:00 this afternoon, do you want to come back?" I must be crazy, so we did. (after the trip to Wendy's for lunch and frosties of course.) The crown was even better. We were in and out in 30 minutes and that includes the time spent in the waiting room. Another trip to the toy machines and showing Kenyon his cool silver tooth, all is great.

sNOw more snow!

I have been lucky to have loved everywhere I have lived. I loved growing up in Las Vegas, Phoenix and Mesa AZ. I loved the summers and could not understand why people might not. Come on you can swim in the back yard almost year round. Okay my moms rules about when it was OK to wear shorts (not until it hit 95) I did not like but I loved the weather.

Now lets talk about Chicago. We moved there, from Mesa, during the coldest February in like 30 years. Walked to the grocery store in 50 below zero weather, got to our apartment and giggled at the craziness of our adventure and the fact that we did not die. We loved it:our first time living somewhere where there was all 4 seasons, we got just the right amount of snow each winter perfect for sledding and snowmen, we got to play in the red and orange leaves, enjoy flowers in the front yard, OK the summers were a little too humid for me but we had the beach to play on.

Here we are in Bothell WA. Again we get all 4 seasons, and there is more flowers and greenery, living in a rain forest is beautiful. Yes it rains here a lot, but it is not the AZ cloud burst, it is usually a mist like from those units rigged outside during the summer at Pete's Fish N Chips. The summers rarely break90 (good thing I do not use my moms rule for wearing shorts) and if they do we go to the beach. We usually get a day or 2 of snow around Christmas, just the right amount. Okay after all of that I HATE WINTER THIS YEAR!!!! It is March 9 there was a Blizzard yesterday and got down to 18 degrees last night. The snow has been very wet so it is not even fun to play in. They are talking about more snow for tomorrow. I have flowers (yes I planted them myself) starting to bud, I really want it to warm up so I can enjoy them.

Does it Work?

Exactly one year to the day of finding the best job ever, it will be over. April 1 2008 I stated working at It Figures a women's fitness and wellness center. Imagine Curves and Golds combined into one, along with the local Day spa all wrapped up into a boutique size. It has been great, I have been getting payed to workout, as well as making friends and getting skin care really cheap. Do to the Banking fall out and people cutting back on unnecessary expenses, we are closing. The big question I keep getting asked is what am I going to do now? Well lets see, where can I get a part time job working 6am-9am 3 days a week, always the same 3 days and that can give me most of the summer off so I can do what I need to do for our Game Company? Yes, not an easy answer. So for now my answer is "sleep in" I may be able to get 2 more hours of sleep on those 3 days I was getting up at 5.

The happy scraper.

I love to scrapbook! When I was young I had my own photo album with the sticky pages and I would save photos and stuff in it. I made sure the pages we organized and all the pictures were arranged in pretty yet symmetrical ways. So now go forward at least 25 years and I have at least 30 albums documenting the lives of my family. Yes it takes forever, yes the eco-friendly girl is wasting paper (I do use all my scraps) no I am not caught up on all my photos, no I never will be. Why do I like it? I love photos, and I love telling a story with them. I can't write worth much so I tell my life story through crapbooks. It is also a great creative outlet for me. Plus I have always loved shopping for pens and paper. (I am on a first name basis with all the staff at Staples, and they have given me a personal shopper who calls me about once a month to check in on me.) I guess Scrapbooking is just the logical choice for me.

I am preparing for a 12 hour "Crop" and while going through what is done and what needs to be done Ryana brings me her baby album and asks why there are only 3 pages in her book. There are more pictures in her dance album then her baby book, and she has only done two dance recitals. I realized the problem, I have almost no pictures of her before age 1. I am sure I took them, just don't know where they are.

In 12 hours I should be able to finish 12/2 page layouts with no trouble. It has taken weeks of prep to get ready so the crop is more like a 36 hour crop once you count all the organizing, shopping and photo printing in adition to the actuall finishing fo the pages. I will up date this after the crop to let you know how much I got done and how many of them will go into Ryana's baby book.

Thats not a Milk Mustache!

I know most of my friends have teenagers and have had them for a few years, but this is new to me my oldest just turned 12. Yes I know 12 is not quite teenager but when Bryn has a had a mustache for over a year now, and stinky arm pits since 3rd grade I think it counts. Yes that's right Bryn could start shaving if he wanted. Is it wrong that I want to wax his lip? My mom doesn't see anything wrong with the idea in fact she told me there are Junior Highs with a no facial hair rule. Is it wrong that I have issue with Junior Highs telling my son he has to shave or wax? Do they tell girls when it is time to shave? This really bothers me. Its one thing for me as his parent to decide when it is time for him to shave but this does not seem like an issue for schools to get involved in. Does the mustache make him a wild child? If the Bishop is not saying Bryn has to shave to pass the sacrament (we did cut his hair) then I see no reason for a Junior High to get involved. I guess I am lucky we don't live wherever that JH is. Or is it the JH is lucky I am not one of the parents in their boundaries.

Spin me Right round, Baby!

Willow Park, Logan Utah (I think July 2006.) The Bills family reunion always happens at Willow Park and this year we were there for Logan Days. Several activities were going on all over the park, but we were watching Randall's Brother Keith and his band preform. When there is music Ryana MUST dance, she is unable to keep still. we watched her for 3 songs before I thought, "hey maybe I should record this. So I did. In the video you see her unique dancing style, but also you see several times where she realizes she is tired and maybe a little dizzy but her body will not let her stop moving.

Swinging In The Rain.

Family room Furniture typically consists of a couch, a chair or two, TV, some sort of table, maybe even a bookcase. But, ours is not your typical family room. We have 2 swings hanging from the ceiling one for Ryana and one for Kenyon, as well as the couch, TV, and book shelves. Right now Kenyon is in his swing asleep, but pushing his swing by himself to keep it going. Kenyon spent the first 3 years of his life sleeping in a standard Graco swing. Now much to big for a Graco we have worked hard to help him get comfortable in a bed at night but he still spends most of his awake time in his swing. Now for the real fun. Since he needs sensory input even while asleep, with no swinging he needs it from somewhere else. We do not have an amazing Vibro bed from a sleazy hotel room but body contact works, so Kenyon sleeps with either Randall or I each night. There are two huge problems with this solution: Randall and I rearely get to sleep in the same bed and we are now going to have to explain to Kenyon's college roommate why they have to share a bed, or we have to find a big enough swing that he can sleep in and then explain that to his room mates.

Sleeping beauty

Why is it that the sight of my kids sleeping brings a warm feeling? part of me thinks it is due to the happy thoughts that go along with alone time: I get to do what ever I want, I don't have to share anything and I can be as loud or as quiet as I like. But, quite often my quiet time is interrupted by wishing I could share what I am doing with at least one of them. So here I sit right now on the living room couch, watching CSI: New York, playing on my computer and watching Kenyon slowly fall asleep on the couch next to me. Bryn is in the other room on Randall's computer and Ryana laying down in the playroom watching a movie (there is no school tomorrow.) I come across a game Kenyon would enjoy playing with me (Okay watching me play and then touching the screen to ask me what everything is.) something we love to do together. Why am I so tempted to nudge him and wake him up. I look forward to my time alone when he is hiding behind the couch so I can't get him and my cell phone he is hiding, I look forward to my alone time every time after each fight with his sister, I look forward to my alone time after he has been home sick for 3 weeks. But, now that I have it, I want to share it. So it must be that the warm feeling is just seeing a well earned sleep, and knowing it will all start over again tomorrow when he wakes up. That and they always look so innocent when asleep.

I Scream! Sure, Ice Cream.

Going out to dinner as a family (Drive- thru does not count and neither do places with a playland) has not been successful since Ryana was Born, then add Kenyon to the mix and you have a whole different animal. But then I am asking them to sit still in an overstimulating situation and then I want them to be quiet as well. We don't eat dinner around a table at home why do I keep trying it out in public? I must have inhaled some fumes or 2nd hand crack because after having Kenyon home sick for almost 3 weeks I decided tonight was the night to try it again.

Did I mentioned I had to wake Kenyon up early from a nap to run Bryn to a Dr. Apt. before heading to dinner.

Well, I at least picked a very casual place Applebeas, we had gotten a gift card from some friends as part of a date night Christmas present, and they were able to give us the huge booth in the corner so we could spread out and still block Kenyon's escape routes. Here is where one of my crazy genius moments takes place. Kenyon asked for ice cream first and I said "YES" while the rest of us were ordering our beverages we ordered him vanilla ice cream.

Right about now is where Ryana should start to feel overwhelmed by her surroundings and then realize that I did not order her ice cream as well and have one of her overstimulated tantrums. It never came. Not sure why, I can not take credit for it.

By the time The real food came Kenyon was done with his ice cream and had: tried to escape 4 times, pointed at every thing he could see, asked the same question 30 times (no exaggeration) and was ready to eat some nuggets and apple sauce. Ryana had been coloring the kids menu and was happy as could be. Yes they were both a little on the noisy side but I will take loud giggles and chatter over fits and tantrums.

We did have a problem at the end because everyone else wanted their ice cream and when Randall went to share his with Kenyon it was not the right kind of chocolate. (It did not look exactly like the picture in the menu)

This was an amazing night. I can not wait to share the success with the kids Occupational Therapist tomorrow morning.

I waited until we were in the car and driving away before I would even comment on it to Randall and he still was very sheepish about talking about because that might make it never happen again. Even if it never goes as smooth again it was worth it.

Crazy? Yes I am, Thank you.

I decided with my copious (in my world copious means lack of) amount of free time I should start a blog. I know I am late in the game. okay, so, really why the heck am I doing this? I figure if nothing else my ramblings will keep the crazy at bay. Or at least give my family proof of my insanity for insurance reasons. :)